Mojo67 wrote:Sorry to hear about this Mick. Good on you for having the balls to share all this with the crew. Yes it sounds like you're taking the right path to start with, but its a long hard road ahead. Keep your friends close. They will have a perspective on life that you don't want to hear but you need to. You can't be told how to live the next 12 months, but the ones who are close to you will try and give you that perspective that you can only see from the outside.
The first trick is to eat, breathe and sleep. The 3 simplest things are the hardest to do. You just stop eating properly, and start skipping meals because you can't be bothered cooking. You take shallow breaths because the stomach is in knots and it hurts like shit to breathe deeply. Sleep, well you stay up stewing all night and end up collapsing exhausted late at night because you didn't sleep well the night before either.
If you don't master those three things your work suffers. You can't focus on anything, and your concentration is shot. You end up snapping at everyone and there are times when you just find a spare office close the door and burst into tears. You lose weight, which initially sounds like a good thing, but you end up grinding your body down until you get sick. You get hit by the first flu that comes around and it hits hard.
Exercise helps. Long walks burn off all that adrenaline that is tying up your stomach, and helps you sleep at night.
Keep track of your money. Dating is expensive.
Letting them go is the hardest thing to do. Not thinking about them every day, chewing yourself up over "what ifs", attributing blame, rationalising everything to no result. Dating everything with a pulse keeps you busy, but its only time and distance that brings the peace. I lost Jen on January 12th this year. I'm sure I'll be over her soon, but I've been saying that for 6 months!
Look after yourself and your kids. The rest will fall into place, but it does take time. A long time. Take care mate.
Thanks Dave, sounds like you've done it hard mate...I feel for you.
Don't get me wrong, Ros has done this sort of thing before and although it was forgiven, she never really committed to trying to stay together. She stopped wearing her wedding ring a couple of years ago, and I knew when this new relationship started off about six months ago that it was only a matter of time. By this time I had gotten so used to her half-truths, long silences and mis-directions that I was prepared and my head was sorted...which is probably why it appears I am taking it so well.
I appear to be taking it so well because I am. I have had no part in her decision, we had no part in the decision, the decision was all hers and we could have done nothing to stop it happening. No blame to attribute really...I can't offer something which I'm not mentally or physically equipped to offer, and I probably can't even understand it
.
In fact now it
has happened we can all move on. I sleep like a log, I've lost 15-odd kg with exercise and changing my diet. I have robust self-esteem, supportive and loving parents, great friends (including you guys, otherwise I wouldn't have told you) and three great children. I have a top job with an understanding and supportive boss, and have just been promoted. I have enough flexibility in my work to get to the gym 5 times a week. I'm eating better than I have done for a while, because it's now me that cooks, and no-one else. I do my own washing and ironing and I know where it is...which may not sound like much, but she was never very organised, whereas I am.
Thanks everyone, you've all been great
Mick
shags.... 
andi - 
