What to do with Wayward Kids?

[robracer]

One of my workers daughter has been running away from home getting in trouble for most of this year & now this:
http://www.police.nsw.gov.au/news/lates ... YWxsPTE%3D
What the fark are the parents meant to do ...... the kid is so rebellious... its a loving caring home she comes from... I just don't get it, whats with these kids

[Bogan]

That looks pretty bad Rob with any luck that will be a wake up call for her? Sometimes there's not a lot we can do except be around to pick up the pieces when they go off and think they know everything.

[laidback]

That looks pretty bad Rob with any luck that will be a wake up call for her? Sometimes there's not a lot we can do except be around to pick up the pieces when they go off and think they know everything.

+1

Just keep reminding them you love them and hope sense prevails before they hurt themselves badly or get into too much trouble.

Unfortunately the law makes it difficult to control youngsters when they have a mind to rebel.

[Whickle]

I would suggest that its the kids friends, not the family.

This is the results the world gets by stopping the parents for kicking a kid in the ass when they do the wrong thing.

[Slow and wobbly]

That wont be a wake up call. It will be bragging rights because she will be given ANOTHER chance by the authorities. They are powerless. The parents are powerless. Kids are no more rebellious or wayward than we or our parents were. Its just that they can get away with more.
As kids we were always threatened with Turana. Seems its a bit bloody different these days compared to the 80's if you read the first paragraph http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melbourne_ ... ice_Centre .
What do you do?
It has long been established that some of the best results are had by removing from the environment in which they are comfortable. Since your not allowed to belt living daylights out them anymore then the best you can do is knock them down a peg socially and psychologically by taking them out of the established comfort zone. If that means sending them to the NT and dumping them on a cattle station or for what its worth sending them to daydream island to see what they may never have if they continue along the chosen path.
IF I was a parent and the feral was mine then I would definitely be having words with local station and ask that a curfew be imposed and at very least ask if they could assist by locking here down for a night in the station cells....at least they and the parents know where she is and make it out to be an ongoing thing....its only one night but she wouldn't know that at the time.
Good luck to the parents.

[z900/zx9]

Sometimes you can try everything but to no avail,this comes from a son who had his first child by 15 years old,second child on the way by the time he was 19,all the time getting stoned of his face,then there was an armed robery with an axe which resulted a 6 month jail time.I tried everything from kidnapping him from his girlfreinds mothers house to break the relationship,having a big burly sargent come over one night after he tryed to escape my locked house and pulled knifes on me.(which resulted in a blod nose for him.Even with a police officer poking him around with a batton it had little effect.There are lots of other events that happened,now he is with a girl on the goldcoast and seemingly a little more calm.Problem for him is hes now 23 never had a job,has a criminal record to boot.We are on pretty good terms and he has said shit i wish i had listened to you,bottom line is its really up to them in the end

[loubre]

I would suggest that its the kids friends, not the family.

This is the results the world gets by stopping the parents for kicking a kid in the ass when they do the wrong thing.

Very true, unfortunately very little you can do apart from support, have three teenagers myself so feel for you mate!

[Jonno]

Back off, be there for them when they are ready to come back, dont lose ya cool, accept and guide them and never give up, you cant force anything.

[Nelso]

By now it's gone too far and there is no saving her unless drastic measures are taken, so my suggestion is to move out of the city to another town to isolate her from the negative influences of her 'so called' friends and then, stop giving her everything she wants and set up a system where she earns eveything by being reponsible and respectful. Then, once boundaries are established, give her lots of positive affiemation when she gets things right. If that's too much of a commitment, the parents need to be prepared to let her go to fend for herself if she chooses to run away.

Too many parents can't handle the idea of letting their kids go and their kids emotionally blackmail them into getting what they want. If she wants to run away, let her, but cut her off completely. She needs to learn that the only way to get their support is if she is respectful to them. Why do people think their kids are any different to the rest of the population? If someone else constantly demanded you give them stuff, talked to you like shit and abused all of your boundaries you would tell them to pull their head in or fuck off, but if it's their kid they just keep giving them what they want. The only way to get her to reconect with the parents and maintain their boundaries is for her to want/need to. Right now she doesn't need to and has created a power struggle with them and if she is getting worse, then the parents are losing that battle. You would also be surprised at how many things the parents do to deal with her, that will be encouraging her to go off the rails as well.

[Slow and wobbly]

Nelso all good in theory but it gives resolve in the next few years for her to continue to be a cunt. "My parents abonded me and its their fault"
I have the parents of the decade over the back fence - too much to go into but they are the result of the above and whilst they bred their offspring aren't that bad that they cant be saved but what hope has a young boy got when his mother calls him a fuckwit and after yesterdays tirade towards the daughter (7-8yo) "TAKE YOUR UNIFORM OFF YOU LITTLE SHIT AND DO AS I FUCKEN WELL SAY!"
What hope has society got in general? Bring on the apocalypse and may the strongest survive.

[seiko1]

They are well aware that there are no consequences anymore, as Adrian said we had Turana or similar to put us off doing majorly stupid things as these places had a well known rep for harshness.
Thanks to the do gooders "one size fits all" approach to child discipline, the odd child that does require a firmer hand does not receive it!
My two older boys were a bit of a handful, the elder could just be spoken to and respond well, the next one down required me to punch my way through his LOCKED door in order to get his attention, but it worked. If I had not scared him I really think he would be in gaol now.
The point is that what works for one will not work for all.
They should just leave the child to the Parents, whatever they may decide to do!!!

[robracer]

Adrian the Parents asked the cops & got no help at all, she has been cut off for a while but it seems that has just made the situation worse, I am guessing this will make her feel 10 ft tall with her 5 minutes of fame I will know more tomorrow.

[Nelso]

Nelso all good in theory but it gives resolve in the next few years for her to continue to be a cunt. "My parents abonded me and its their fault"

It's not abandonment when the child chooses to walk out. All that needs to be said by the parents is "You will always have a home here, you just need to live by our rules. If you want to leave, you do so on your own. It's YOUR choice."

[Nelso]

Adrian the Parents asked the cops & got no help at all, she has been cut off for a while but it seems that has just made the situation worse, I am guessing this will make her feel 10 ft tall with her 5 minutes of fame I will know more tomorrow.

The cops aren't there to help relationships between people. They arrest people that break the law and put them before the courts, that's it. Why does society think they are skilled enough in relationships to give advice, let alone have the time to help deal with these situations?

If the parents are looking for help, get them to contact someone like Redbank House who ARE skilled in dealing with these kids and ask them who they can turn to for help.

[Leanne]

Nelso all good in theory but it gives resolve in the next few years for her to continue to be a cunt. "My parents abonded me and its their fault"
I have the parents of the decade over the back fence - too much to go into but they are the result of the above and whilst they bred their offspring aren't that bad that they cant be saved but what hope has a young boy got when his mother calls him a fuckwit and after yesterdays tirade towards the daughter (7-8yo) "TAKE YOUR UNIFORM OFF YOU LITTLE SHIT AND DO AS I FUCKEN WELL SAY!"
What hope has society got in general? Bring on the apocalypse and may the strongest survive.

No it doesn't help if the parents are like that, but as robracer said this girl comes from a good family. I agree with Nelso and Sieko1.

Also, the Police and Teachers (and parents to an extent) have their hands tied thanks to the Do-Gooders. All well and good for people to blame Police and Teachers and say they don't do anything, but spend a day in their shoes and you would be amazed at what you can't do and the hoops that Police and Teachers have to jump through when it comes to Kids behaving badly at School and in Public.