Couple of Quickies

[smithy5]

I took my girlfriend to the Cardiologist for some tests
The Doctor said she has acute angina.
I said I know that but how is her heart.

A man calls 000 and says "I think my wife is dead"
The operator says how do you know?
He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is building up!

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the
biggest p*nis she had ever laid her hands on.
I said "You're pulling my leg"

Spent $40 on ebay last week for a penis enlarger.
Just opened it and some bastard's sent me a magnifying glass!

I saw a poor old lady fall over in the park today
At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse

I went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my arse!
Do you think I should change dentists?

[matt1414]

lol