Anyone Seen the Chuck Norris Jokes?

[Valheru70]

I have been in fits over the latest crop of Chuck Norris jokes.there are heaps on the web you might like,

Chuck Norris is so fast when he throws a punch he hits himself in the back of his head.

Arnold swartzenegger once kicked Chuck Norris's arse then he woke up with a roundhouse kick to the face.

Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard , he has another fist.

V

[Black Magic]

Yep, seen a lot of these.

Some of them are a scream!

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.

[MrWasabi]

go to google.com.au
type in Locate Chuck Norris

and hit Im feeling lucky

[ozx6r]

go to google.com.au
type in Locate Chuck Norris

and hit Im feeling lucky

thats classic

[mick_dundee]

Not only seen em, I even created one

When Chuck Norris farts, it registers on the Richter scale, my very own creation that one, can't beat a good fart joke

[Valheru70]

A couple more.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

[Nelso]

One of my favourites:

When Chuck Norris does push ups he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the Earth down.

[red_dave]

Chuck Norris isn't affraid of the dark, the dark is affraid of Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands, They are now just called "the islands"

these have been around for ages

[98ninja]

chuck norris is the only man to ever beat a brick wall in a game of tennis

Chuck norris has a lawsuit against NBC it turns out Law and Order are the names of his left and right legs.

chuck norris can slam a revolving door

chuck norris isnt hung like a horse horses are hung like chuck norris

[Nelso]

Some more:

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

[Black Magic]

Chuck Norris isn't affraid of the dark, the dark is affraid of Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands, They are now just called "the islands"

these have been around for ages

[98ninja]

chuck norris doesnt sleep he waits

chuck norris doesnt read books he simply stares them down until he gets the information he needs.

the americans never dropped and Atomic bomb at hiroshima. They dropped chuck norris out of a plane and he punched the ground.

when people ask chuck norris what time it is he says "two seconds till....." when they ask "two seconds to what?" he round house kicks them in the face.

chuck norris can believe its not butter

[zbeast]

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/