What to do with Wayward Kids?

[robracer]

maybe euthanasia is the right option for you

We have enough trouble with the youth in Aus, without worrying about the youth in Asia!

[Blurr]

well said Nelso. I agree you cant smacking older kids that should by now understand reasoning. It just doesnt work and their behaviour does work around mutual respect, not so much dependence.

A couple of questions (I feel like Dicko on ' A can of Worms '
OK so it's not cool to hit/smack/spank (well sometimes spank )
1. a) Who hasnt been ever spanked as a young child and do you respect your parents more for it?
b)Who has been smacked as a small child and respected your parents less for it?
2. How do you reason with a 2 year old that doesnt think rationally just yet?

[fireyrob]

2. How do you reason with a 2 year old that doesnt think rationally just yet?

Some battles you dont bother with. Others you just pick them up and put them in the car or in bed. Ignore the tantrum, they tire out. If there's an obvious danger move them or it. But ignoring 2 year olds or Seiko, hopefully they grow out of it

[Blurr]

I do that with Naydeen all the time.

She is usually over it by the time I get back from EC. PI or WP

[Naked Twin]

well said Nelso. I agree you cant smacking older kids that should by now understand reasoning. It just doesnt work and their behaviour does work around mutual respect, not so much dependence.

A couple of questions (I feel like Dicko on ' A can of Worms '
OK so it's not cool to hit/smack/spank (well sometimes spank )
1. a) Who hasnt been ever spanked as a young child and do you respect your parents more for it?
b)Who has been smacked as a small child and respected your parents less for it?
2. How do you reason with a 2 year old that doesnt think rationally just yet?

Well I think I have answered question 1a and 1b

On question 2 I think you are not giving the child enough credit, children learn to respond from very early on to behavioural changes. Call it testing their limits/ boundaries is how a child learns what is acceptable and what is not. What you find is that children actually have more patience than a parent (probably better described as stubbornness) and will keep pushing until either they win or back down. Problem is many learn that the parent will eventually back down. Even from 8 weeks old you can control cry a child so that they can sleep through the night. It is about finding ways to "manipulate" the child's behaviour to reflect your wishes. Some use hitting, some use their brain

[Blurr]

8 weeks old mmmmmmmmmmmmmm would love some info on that. Going through that now (well 7 weeks old anyways). ATM it is just a matter of Naydeen and I doing the juggle so we both stay calm and ride out the 'witching hours' from about 5pm to midnight.

[born green]

After reading all this it makes me glad i didnt get married and have kids, sounds like a minefield!! and i dont think i would have made a good dad anyway, so prob best, and im selfish, more $$$$ for myself to spend on toys!!!

[Naked Twin]

8 weeks old mmmmmmmmmmmmmm would love some info on that. Going through that now (well 7 weeks old anyways). ATM it is just a matter of Naydeen and I doing the juggle so we both stay calm and ride out the 'witching hours' from about 5pm to midnight.

If you are prepared to stick to it for up to 2 weeks of sweet fa sleep it will work, it hurts but the investment is well worth it. My wife did it to both our kids after her sister did the same with her 3, I think I hardly slept for 10 days but from then on for the most part our children have slept through the night. My wife and her sister read up on it so I am only going from what my wife said and did. Our children are 5 and 3 so this not ancient history.

What happens currently is your child is learning that if it cries you will come, this is normal however as it gets older this forms into a habitual problem rather than a distress call. You have to learn distinguish between a cry and a distress call (you can but lack of sleep does not help). Babies should be able to self settle, if you have to rock them, pat them, be with them this will be the habit/ pattern for them to be able to go to sleep until they grow up or you break the habit. They should be able to sleep in different environments (not always at home in the cot) again something you "train' the child to do.

It a little tough love but when you are operating on no sleep for months on end you will lose your mind.

There are books on it and I am sure the internet is full of information.

Nick

[tim]

At the risk of this becomming a baby love-in this is the book Indri has used Russ. http://www.saveoursleep.com.au/

We got it after many people recommended it to us and we absolutely swear by it it's been VERY good.

Can't comment on the original topic with any authority as both our 2 kids are under 3 (and a third on the way ) but I do work in the early childhood education and teaching field in my 2 jobs, so I know a thing or two. I think that as soon as the parents realise that they DON'T have the skills to guide their kids to be civil it's time to get help and educate THEMSELVES the parenting skills they need to help their kids.... that's what I'd be trying anyways.

I'd hate to have to see a son or daughter of mine go completely off the rails

[Jonno]

Was belted by a heavy hand, never hit my kids, figure for yourself.

[robracer]

Well news is not good, she skipped school yesterday (had to be a planned move as she had a change of clothes) & has taken off, Curfew was broken last night so its real serious now

[Possum]

Well news is not good, she skipped school yesterday (had to be a planned move as she had a change of clothes) & has taken off, Curfew was broken last night so its real serious now

Far from a good thing. Natural consequences are the hardest learned.

[UncleChopChop]

They are so cute at that stage

[Megsnitro]

Hey Robracer - tell your worker to hang in there..... but maybe for a few years. I was one of these rotten teenage girls that put my wonderful parents (I can appreciate them now) through living hell. I came from a GREAT family and that is what turned me around in the end. I was having a ball being Miss Independent and 'living my life' but the ground work had been established by the parents over the years and I knew I didn't want to end up like the cretins I was running with - but it was exciting for a while at that age.

How they didn't murder me is a mystery and yes I've chosen not to have kids - I remember the curse my mother said to me ... "I hope you have a daughter and she is just like you"

[robracer]

Yeah thanks Meg, I can understand it could take some time, & it looks like anything is possible given the last few weeks
the situation is still the same, she has gone to ground & hasn't been seen for a week.