Have you lost a parent?

[Strika]

Spent most of the day with mum. However she hasn't been awake at all. Going back in early tomorrow as the nurse says she is often awake for a little in the mornings.

[Jonno]

Thinking of you mate.

Nothing else I can say, peace be with you bro.

[Mikey84]

Thinking of you mate.

Nothing else I can say, peace be with you bro.

+1 mate

[mfzx6r]

Be strong Marty

I do know how you feel mate lost my mum late last year and my wife lost hers just a few months ago .
There's nothing else to say just be there with her and love the time left with her . We only get one mum

[Strika]

Got to spend a few lucid minutes with her this morning. She smiled and waved to Tatyana. Glad to say it, but mum took quite a shine to Tatyana. I think it comforts her to know I have her for support.

Mum barely has the energy to speak now. She is on 2.5mg of morphine plus another sedative and anti nausea stuff, so the lucid moments are rare. The spirit wants out but the body is not willing to give up yet. The handlebars are on the ground but she is still holding onto the bars.

[Strika]

Just spoke with the nurse again. No change to mum's condition at this stage. Which is good and bad. Good, as I might get a few minutes with her again this weekend, bad because she is just so over all this, she just wants to go now!

Sitting with her last weekend, it made me realise how dismissive of Euthenasia I have been. It really is not until you experience this type of illness, that you open your eyes to the benefits of Euthenasia. My mum said she would have much preferred to have all of us by her side three weeks ago, when she still looked and felt half human, while we held her hand and said goodbye to her for the last time as a family! She has lost all her dignity and has had to suffer immense pain for the last 5 weeks. I am sure there is a better way for all involved!

[Mikey84]

far out buddy, its a very emotional write up, my heart pours out to you and your family strika
near brought a tear to my eye reading this

if you ever need anyone to talk too PM me and i'll give you a buzz

[Six Addict]

be careful mikey, marty'll think thats a sexual advance and wanna have his way with you... he's hung like a rogue mouse y'know

[Strika]

be careful mikey, marty'll think thats a sexual advance and wanna have his way with you... he's hung like a rogue mouse y'know

Aha...but I do have nuts like mangos!!!!

To those who are finding reading this a little hard, I ask that you forgive me. I kinda guess this thread is an outlet for me to vent and express thougths as I deal with this situation. I am still going OK with it all. But, we are getting to the pointy end and to be honest, I am having trouble focussing on anything much else. Work has suffered tremendously with my mind being a lot distracted and I have struggled to keep up communication with friends. It's one of those things which is relatively easy to place in print, but a lot more difficult to openly speak to someone about!

[Mikey84]

be careful mikey, marty'll think thats a sexual advance and wanna have his way with you... he's hung like a rogue mouse y'know

*slowly Backs Up! AND FUCKING RUNS!!!!!!*

Aha...but I do have nuts like mangos!!!!

* while running yells out, still got nothing on my big hairy cocconuts!*

[Mikey84]

To those who are finding reading this a little hard, I ask that you forgive me. I kinda guess this thread is an outlet for me to vent and express thougths as I deal with this situation. I am still going OK with it all. But, we are getting to the pointy end and to be honest, I am having trouble focussing on anything much else. Work has suffered tremendously with my mind being a lot distracted and I have struggled to keep up communication with friends. It's one of those things which is relatively easy to place in print, but a lot more difficult to openly speak to someone about!

I lost my father at a young age, and still remember it like it was yesterday, i found myself for many of years venting, being unsociable and following the simplest tasks really hard, due to your mind going a million miles an hour

You have great friends around you marty that will help if you need it, or even just to vent to (like here for example) That was the biggest killer for me when i lost my father, i never had anyone, i had to suffer the pain of it alone. And being at such a young age i didnt cope very well ( turning to crime, drugs, alchol) im definatly not saying your going to do that, but just be careful buddy, your mind can do a full 360 in difficult times, and do crazy things

i got a bit emotional before reading this, beacuse i started having visions and flashbacks of my father lying there bruised from head to toe and pale, lying in his coffin, remembering those feelings are a huge killer, they will haunt me till the day i die!

the only thing that cleared me up after years of suffering was my son, whome i named after my father *Eddie James Guarini*
When i look at him all my pain goes away, he is my little miracle boy, he saved me from certain death, i was at the point where i couldnt handle life anymore, its amazing what kids can do

anyway here i go venting just be safe, dont do anything silly and try your hardest to chat to as many friends as possible, your mates, and if you have any kids, your kids, will be your biggest life saver

[seiko1]

Vent away Marty

[ZXRobyn]

Marty, I've read and followed this thread, but tbh I didnt really know what to say, or how I could add anything of value, hence no post til now .... I now realise, that all I need to do, is tell you that my thoughts are with you - cos they are

[Strika]

Marty, I've read and followed this thread, but tbh I didnt really know what to say, or how I could add anything of value, hence no post til now .... I now realise, that all I need to do, is tell you that my thoughts are with you - cos they are

Yeah, thanks Robs! I appreciate that. I'm doing ok to be honest. It's been a long (almost 20 years) drawn out illness that has had peaks and troughs throughout. Yea, this time we are not coming back from the brink like previous times, but, all in all, I have had my time to say what I need to say, as has mum. She has seen all her sons and daughters and they have all made there own peace with mum and vice versa. So in those terms we are lucky. Many never get the chance to square the ledger prior to departure and often just go without warning! Us, well, we have had plenty of warning. We have all cried our tears for now and are ready! No doubt there will be more tears when mum's body eventually decides it is time. But for now, things are OK.

I havn't been able to talk to mum all week. I call three of four times a day at random times hoping to catch her in a lucid moment. But, thus far, she has been pretty much sleeping for the past 4 days. I chat to the nurse on duty daily and receive an update on her last 24 hours and chat with my little brother each day (He is a regd Nurse and Chinese Herbalist. He currently lives in Beijing China. It's good having him back, as he KNOWS what the fuck is going on with mum in real terms without the sugar coating often delivered from the medical staff.) So at the moment, I am up to date on every detail of her condition and what the next steps are from here. It makes me feel a little more comfortable to know he is there to manage things for a little while. Problem is, he can't stay there forever and at some stage soon, will have to go back to China to start work again. His employer has been very good in allowing him time to come home, but he may be pushing the friendship by staying any longer. A pity, as I believe he will have to hop back on a plane very shortly to come back for mum's funeral.

[Jennysc]

I'm so glad you and your relatives have been able to say goodbye and make peace with it all. My mum was called back to england when her mum was dying, got to the airport and was told she had passed away, took a long time for mum to get over that. She's just got back again after watching her brother go through the same thing but having that chance to see him again makes it so much easier.

I can only hope that when it happens to anyone close to me, I have the same support and friendship you obviously have, my thoughts are with you.

Jenny