Txts from last night

[Rossi]

Don't ask how I stumbled upon this BUT there are some absolute crackers here

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/best-nights/3


""(407): you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
(1-407): probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine ""

[wullieb1]

Brilliant.

[Mel]

I spent far too long reading through that site. Funny as though!

[Mike]

Personal favorite...

"I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth. "

[wullieb1]

Personal favorite...

"I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth. "

When i read that i spat a little beer over the the keyboard, infact scrub that i spat alot of beer over the keyboard.

[Ratmick]

Here's one for Neka:

(919): The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.

Some of those (if they're not fake) are piss-funny.

Mick

[seiko1]

This one has me in stitches, so close to a message I have sent on so many occasions...

(402): lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
(1-402): IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.

[shadowzx9]

(734): I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
(1-734): Shittttttt.
(734): Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

<breathe>

BWAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

[shadowzx9]

I made it to page 41 and

(505): My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.

before it became imperative to take a piss as i was laughing wayyyyyyyy too hard

[dutchy]

I will be drinking and reading these at a later date. Funny

[lifeofcrimeguy]

fmylife can be half decent as well. the text site is definetely better. But maybe thats just because its full of horny teenage girls... Could be wrong .

[67-FKD]

good call :Di been loving this site for a few months now great for a drunken laugh

[Jennysc]

Good site when sitting at work bored shitless

Found this one, thought it was appropriate, lol.

(405): Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.

[swearbear9r]

that is a awesome link lol.............