BM's Joke/ funny video thread..... probably NWS

[matt76]

I love the Oz words

[matt76]

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music.

The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size.

This has been hailed as a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

[Black Magic]

A woman in her thirties is at home happily jumping unclothed, on her bed and squealing with delight.

Her husband watches her for a while and asks, 'Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?'



The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, 'I don't care what you think. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says, that not only am I healthy but I have the breasts of an 18-year-old.'



The husband replies, 'What did he say about your 50-year old arse?'


'Your name never came up,' she replied.

[Six Addict]

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music.

The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size.

This has been hailed as a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

me likey this one....

[MadKaw]

pinched from TrakDaze..

"Doctor, every time I break wind, I produce the sound 'HONDA'.
"Drop your shreddies, bend over the desk, and lets have a quick inspection.
But first, give me a rendition".
So I clenched my teeth, gave a squeeze, and there it was...'HONDA'.
I bent over and he had a rather lengthy delve into the depths. "Ah, I see
the cause of your problem; you`ve got an abcess up there".
"But how does that produce such a sound?" I ask.

Doctor replies,






"Because... Abcess makes the fart go 'HONDA'".

[Black Magic]

pinched from TrakDaze..

"Doctor, every time I break wind, I produce the sound 'HONDA'.
"Drop your shreddies, bend over the desk, and lets have a quick inspection.
But first, give me a rendition".
So I clenched my teeth, gave a squeeze, and there it was...'HONDA'.
I bent over and he had a rather lengthy delve into the depths. "Ah, I see
the cause of your problem; you`ve got an abcess up there".
"But how does that produce such a sound?" I ask.

Doctor replies,






"Because... Abcess makes the fart go 'HONDA'".

LMAO!
Actually, I was laughing after the first line!!!

[zx6rider]

pinched from TrakDaze..

"Doctor, every time I break wind, I produce the sound 'HONDA'.
"Drop your shreddies, bend over the desk, and lets have a quick inspection.
But first, give me a rendition".
So I clenched my teeth, gave a squeeze, and there it was...'HONDA'.
I bent over and he had a rather lengthy delve into the depths. "Ah, I see
the cause of your problem; you`ve got an abcess up there".
"But how does that produce such a sound?" I ask.

Doctor replies,






"Because... Abcess makes the fart go 'HONDA'".

Funniest thing I have read in a long time!!!!

[photomike666]

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'

[Six Addict]

holy shit!!!

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=hvmuhgdk8k8

and again

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=cEkf23nx0 ... re=related

and again but please only watch after u excercise caution... (nasty crash)

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=tfFyJjoy7 ... re=related

[photomike666]

Maybe it's just me, but I don't see videos of people getting hurt as funny???

[Black Magic]

Definitely not my type of man- but funny nonetheless.....


This should bring a tear to the eye! Who said Australians weren't romantic?

An Australian Love Poem.

Of course I love ya darlin’

You're a bloody top-notch bird

And when I say you're gorgeous

I mean every single word

So ya bum is on the big side

I don't mind a bit of flab

It means that when I'm ready

There's somethin’ there to grab

So your belly isn't flat no more

I tell ya, I don't care,

So long as when I cuddle ya

I can get my arms round there

No sheila who is your age

Has nice round perky breasts

They just gave in to gravity

But I know ya did ya best

I'm tellin' ya the truth now

I never tell ya lies

I think its very sexy

That you've got dimples on ya thighs

I swear on me nanna's grave now

The moment that we met

I thought you was as good as

I was ever gonna get

No matter what u look like

I'll always love ya dear

Now shut up while the footy's on

And fetch another beer

[Black Magic]

A guy is in line at the supermarket when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from,so he says, "Sorry, do you know me?"
She replies, "I may be mistaken, but I think you might be the father of one of my children!"

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, "No kidding?" he says. "Are you that stripper from my bachelor party that I screwed on the pool table in front of all my buddies while your girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and jammed a cucumber up my a$$?!" "Um, no", she replied coldly, "I'm your son's English teacher"...........

[photomike666]

There are four engineering uni students sitting in a pub philosophising over a few beers.

The first states, God must have been an electrical engineer. Look at the complexity of the central nervous system – amazing.

Come on says the second, God was a chemical engineer – look that the hormone/pheromone balance. It’s just outstanding.

You’re both wrong says the third; God was a mechanical engineer! The articulation of the skeleton, the muscle fibres, let alone the ability to balance. Just superb.

The fourth student sits in silence for a moment sipping his beer, then says quite simple. God was a civil engineer.

Once the others laughter had subsided he added, who else would put a waste pipe through a recreational area?

[Black Magic]

LMAO - very good Mike!

The new US dollar

US dollar.jpg (36.38 KiB) Viewed 2227 times

[Black Magic]

NWS

I thought this was hilarious but it may offend some viewers...don't shoot the messenger.... just don't open it if you are easily offended.......

The Assumption Song....