BM's Joke/ funny video thread..... probably NWS

[luis kawi]

Another blonde joke...

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It was a really hot day and this blonde decided to go buy a can of Coke. She went to the Coke machine and when she put her money in, a can of Coke came out -- so she kept putting money in.

Now since it was such a hot day, a line had formed behind her. Finally, a guy in line said, "Will you hurry up? We're all hot and thirsty!"

And the blonde said, "No way. I'm still winning!"

[Black Magic]

You have to watch this!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=IcGiCq29DGM

[Tinman]

You have to watch this!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=IcGiCq29DGM

LMAO

[Nelso]

Kinda cute aside from the boobies in the way.

I thought it was kinda cute too, apart from the kitten in the way.

[luis kawi]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7ocLglF ... ic=16309.0

[Tinman]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7ocLglFh1s&eurl=http://labrego.net/forum/index.php?topic=16309.0

[photomike666]

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have
dinner with her parents. Since this is
such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend
that after dinner, she would like to go out and make
love for the first time .
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip
to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his
first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about
condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather
busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house
and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited
for you to meet my parents, come on in!'
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table
where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly
offers to say grace and bows his head.


A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the
girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you
were this religious.'


The boy turns, and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a
pharmacist.'

[Black Magic]

Check out the look on the faces!

2008_02_04_christmas.jpg (51.68 KiB) Viewed 1859 times

[Sulli]

Check out the look on the faces!

2008_02_04_christmas.jpg

Is Donut man touring again

[Black Magic]

Is Donut man touring again

I think he may be by the look on their faces!

[Black Magic]

Giving up drugs!
Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before the judge. The judge said,

"You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."

Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the 1st one, "How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this...

...O...o

...and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs." "That's admirable," said the judge.

"And you, how did you do?", he asked the second boy, "Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever." "156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that?!?", "Well, I used a similar approach. (draws two circles)

...o...O

I said (pointing to the small circle) "this is your asshole before prison, ..."

[Black Magic]

Ok- One from my son!!!!


Him- "Mum, do you know why 90% of snake bites happen to men?"
Me- "No mate why?"
Him- "Because snakes aren't found in the kitchen!"

[Black Magic]

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.

"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."

"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "The guy was your doctor..."

[Black Magic]

Paddy and Mick were working on a building site. Paddy says to Mick "I can't be bothered working all day i wanna go home" so he climbs to the top of the building site and hangs upside down on a steel gurder. So then the boss comes out and says "what the hell do u think your doing?" Paddy says "pretending to be a light bulb". The boss says "go home, your being stupid" so he climbs down and starts walking out. Mick watches and says "im going home too", but just as he was putting on his coat, the boss says "and were do u think your going?" Mick says "home, I'm not working in the dark"

[luis kawi]

heres my last one of 2008


When a Women holds Back.....A Mans View

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Not sure if its a repost got it from a friend.

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey .' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
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