Advice Hotline (now open)

[Aunty Cath]

aunty cath,,, should i lower and put an exhaust on my ute?, nothing illegal just to make it cosmetically look a bit better of course
or should i save my coin?
cheers

What are your goals in life, my sweet corn cob? Do you want to generally have fun, or do you have a specific burning desire? Do you have kids? How important is your ute to you?
If you love your ute - buy her some bling. If you have other goals, promise your ute some bling once your goals have been reached. If you have kids, no you can't have ute bling.

[timmyrocks]

haha no kids for me,,,
goals, lolz,,,,, more on the lines of have fun while im young so yer, thanks for the advise

[Aunty Cath]

Good evening, Aunty Cath ........... I'll come straight to the point - how do I get a root ?

After careful consideration, and some research (I searched on some of your posts here, my mini cactus bush) I've decided that while many paths may ultimately lead to success, the shortest path for this scenario may be using cold hard cash.

Alternatively, you could wait until closing time at the WGM this week and see what floats your way. No escaping on the ealry courtesy bus. May I suggest some very dark sunglasses though, my mug of hot cocoa.

[6maniac]

I'm afraid you may have misunderstood my query, Aunty ........... I'm thinking of planting some shrubs, and wondered if you knew of a reputable plant retailer !!

[Aunty Cath]

:oops: I'm afraid you may have misunderstood my query, Aunty ........... I'm thinking of planting some shrubs, and wondered if you knew of a reputable plant retailer !!

Well, well, well my fluffy ball of dryer lint. I like Wilberforce Garden Nursery for all my planting needs.
And, owing to your response, I no longer think you need to wait until closing time, my salty dolphin flipper. I think you could be successful by 9.30pm. And much less cash - you'll only need enough to purchase two drinks. Just don't wear a black shirt on "the" day. And try to trim some of the facial hair first. And don't wear Brut. That should do the trick

[6maniac]

:oops: I'm afraid you may have misunderstood my query, Aunty ........... I'm thinking of planting some shrubs, and wondered if you knew of a reputable plant retailer !!

Well, well, well my fluffy ball of dryer lint. I like Wilberforce Garden Nursery for all my planting needs. I think you could be successful by 9.30pm. And much less cash - you'll only need enough to purchase two drinks. Just don't wear a black shirt on "the" day. And try to trim some of the facial hair first. And don't wear Brut. That should do the trick

I didn't know that WGN was a licensed premise ( or that it was open so late ). I am not familiar with the product known as Brut ...... possibly something from your era, rather than mine ?

[Aunty Cath]

:oops: I'm afraid you may have misunderstood my query, Aunty ........... I'm thinking of planting some shrubs, and wondered if you knew of a reputable plant retailer !!

Well, well, well my fluffy ball of dryer lint. I like Wilberforce Garden Nursery for all my planting needs. I think you could be successful by 9.30pm. And much less cash - you'll only need enough to purchase two drinks. Just don't wear a black shirt on "the" day. And try to trim some of the facial hair first. And don't wear Brut. That should do the trick

I didn't know that WGN was a licensed premise ( or that it was open so late ). I am not familiar with the product known as Brut ...... possibly something from your era, rather than mine ?

Quite possibly, my sweet sundried tomato.
Now isn't it time you put your dentures in the container and tucked yourself in for the night? Some beauty sleep might be helpful if you're going to be playing with shrubbery

[6maniac]

Thanks, Aunty Cath - it is well past my bedtime. I'll get nursie to tuck me in.

[Cath]

No need to get the gardening gloves and hoe out, when you have a nursie like that Ron!
Phwoooar! Can you send her round? I'm lonely

[Aunty Cath]

Sooooooooooooooooooooooo,
Anyone out there have any pressing problems they'd like to share???

The advice line is open, my little shiny shelled peas

[Gosling1]

How do I convince the cook to spend more time downstairs ?

[Aunty Cath]

Well lets see... you need to go with your strengths. and you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. and a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush

So grab some honey
and use your hand
near your bush

that should do the trick!

[matchan]

Dear Aunty Cath, I've a friend who reckons they're a gun cheesecake maker, who seems to avoid making me one, how can I give them a gentle hint that I'd love a cheesecake?

[Aunty Cath]

Dearest BathMat
What a dilemma for you! There's a few points here...
Firstly, you must know there's no polite way of *asking* for a gift, however copious amounts of flattery may assist you in your cause.
Secondly, what you perceive as avoidance may merely be a form of performance anxiety, so perhaps ease the pressure on your wonderful sounding friend???
And finally, your friend sounds incredibly self-assured to consider themselves a "gun cheesecake maker"... perhaps consider there may have been some misunderstanding along the way and your friend is merely an enthusiastic amateur who has had others embarrassingly talk up their abilities.
Perhaps initiating a visit with said friend, but making no mention of cheesecakes, while still discreetly leaving ample cheesecake-making time before the visit could prove fruitful for you? I suggest a Saturday or Sunday lunch. Or a Saturday dinner if you're planning on sleeping over. Better check they've purchased a mattress to go on the spare bed before you lock it in though.

Hope that helped!

Oh, and Uncle Cath (who is a little uncouth and not as genteel as Aunty Cath is) suggested you get a big black do up ya!

[tim]

Auntie Cath we need some advice.

We have lots of fruit trees in our backyard and It's all fruiting at the moment. Consequently we have copious amounts of tangelos mandarins lemons limes and bananas, more than us and our family and friends can eat. What should we do with all of the fruit Auntie Cath?