So What's Life Like in the Land Down Under?

[Benno]

Australia is shit. You really don't want to visit. Make sure you tell all your seppo mates that too, that its a terrible place, and you should stay away.





P.S. Go Pies!

[Wattie]

once you get over the little things its ok...

-kangaroos everywhere, theres more than humans. they in the streets and everything.
-you lose about 20% body weight here, being on the bottom of the world.
-more women than men, about 3:1. and they are all shit hot!!
-yank tank cars dont fit in our parking spots, so dont bring them.
- dont bring any fruit with you!

[mick_dundee]

Aus is the best, forget the rest and FUCK Collingwood*!!!!!!!!!! I got my ticket for THIS Friday night already and looking forward to sending your mob back to Four n Twenty for pie meat next day

*Thought I better explain the Pies/Collingwood reference for the yank . Over here we have Australian rules football which is very closely followed by 4 states and 2 territories and sort of followed by the other 2 states a bit. There is a team called Collingwood (much like Manchester United in the UK) that you either love (see Gosling1, Possum (didn't know about Benno, you little closet boy you) or hate, see anyone else OTHER than the Collingwood people, why do we hate them so much, well that's part of the national heritage/psyche, basically if you don't love em, then simply you must hate them, other teams can be "tolerated" perhaps even liked, but Collingwood is black and white, no grey area, love em or hate em!!!!

[MickLC]

...-kangaroos everywhere, theres more than humans. they in the streets and everything...

This is particularly true in Canberra, the nation's capital, where the fuckers jump out in front of your vehicle at every opportunity but it's front page news if people talk about culling them

[Wattie]

...-kangaroos everywhere, theres more than humans. they in the streets and everything...

This is particularly true in Canberra, the nation's capital, where the fuckers jump out in front of your vehicle at every opportunity but it's front page news if people talk about culling them

or putting them on "the pill"

[fireyrob]

...-kangaroos everywhere, theres more than humans. they in the streets and everything...

This is particularly true in Canberra, the nation's capital, where the fuckers jump out in front of your vehicle at every opportunity but it's front page news if people talk about culling them

or putting them on "the pill"

they make really good eating though! No-one complains about that

[Goose7R]

We tend to be a bit more laid back.
Shrinks not quite so popular,
Drugs for pre-teens not as freely given,
People getting shot not a nightly event.
Having a cop pull a gun on you not a almost 100% guaranteed event when you get pulled over.
The level of paranoia not as great.
The though that our country can fix the worlds wrongs, not as uppermost in our minds.
Free medical aid in hospitals taken for granted.
Smaltz on tv not quite as prevalent.

Hell, you're pretty much on the mark with those!

A couple of you brought up guns in the U.S., and here's my attempt to clear something up to the world about our guns:

Here's the "thing":

I know a LOT of stupid people who own guns. That being said, us smart people are compelled to own guns, to protect ourselves from the idiots WITH guns.

Most people who do own guns, have no idea what our "2nd Amendment" really means. I'll give you a quick and dirty breakdown of our "2nd Amendment":

It's a part of our Constitution's Bill of Rights, those documents we hold dearly written by gentlemen who got pissed off at King George one day, and decided to toss a bunch of tea into Boston Harbor...

So basically, it says we should all have the right to own guns. HOWEVER, beyond that is where the confusion for most people arise. The idea was that we should own guns NOT to protect ourselves against our neighbors, but so that if the government got too bad, we could all ban together, march to Washington, and toss out a rotten government. Most idiots who own guns don't even know that.

Problem is, that was 1776, not the 20th century. It was written before tanks, airplanes, and, of course, nuclear weapons. You can no longer grab a bunch of people, march to Washington, toss the President out the window, and start all over.

So what does this mean? Our beloved 2nd Amendment is completely meaningless, it's only on paper, a nice display beyond the window for something that isn't even sold anymore. So what do we do? REGULATE the heck out of it. Makes us feel better since we just can't break out the eraser and remove it...
So, although it lets pretty much every escaped mental institution maniac own one, it's movement, and usage is extremely regulated.

In many States, if you so even flash a gun, the cops will arrest you. A good example is what happened recently to a shop owner over in the New England part of the States (where I happen to be originally from by the way!). Someone broke into his shop, he pulled out a gun, fired a few warning shots, and HE got taken to jail right alongside the burglar for unlawful discharge of a weapon.

On top of that, let's say you own a gun in one State, put it in the trunk (boot) of your car, forget about it, drive into another State, and get pulled over by the police. Well, if he decides to search your car, and finds the gun, guess what? For the most part, there's a good chance you'll get your arse arrested because you don't have the proper "permits" for taking it into the other State.

So, as you can see, the Gov. really doesn't want us to have guns, but we just can't get rid of that 2nd Amendment either.

On another note, for some weird reason, I know a lot of sportbikers that carry guns. Truth be told, they're mostly younger, and, to be totally blunt, not that bright. I almost always make fun of them when I find out, and say things like, "Oh yeah, those roads out there in them hills are pretty tough! Did you see the movie, "Hills Have Eyes"???"

So, there you have a synopsis on the whole gun thing in the U.S.!

Apart from that to be honest not much is that different when you get it down to the person to person level

Just bear in mind the crocodile hunter was hyped up on adrenalin and was a bit of a tool really, but he did marry a yank so...
Australia has a ton of great rock bands not just Men @ Work but then again that depends on if you actually LIKE rock
INXS, ( brilliant) ACDC (ho-hum, Yawn), The BeeGees (Barf...) (Powderfinger, Silverchair, Greenday(pretty bloody good)
Nick Cave and the Badseeds (Pass me that knife will you old chap my wrists need slashing) Etc Etc.
Ozzie's are kicking ass on the underground dance front (my kind of tunes)
The list is endless there

So there ya go, just bear in mind we have a population of 20 million to your 275 million so we are not quite as developed in the nuttiness stakes heheh

Yeah, we do understand the Croc Man, was a bit hyper! ....but we loved him anyway...

Hey, what about Midnight Oil?!!! I loved Diesel and Dust when I was a kid, heard the lead singer went into your Parliament too!

[Goose7R]

How seperately are your states run over there? We have different governments for ours but there is really bugger all difference between them. All taxes are the same.

Same here really. Unless you're interested in politics, or own a business, every State is pretty much the same, except for very small differences. What I mentioned before is a good example: Here in Florida, no bike insurance is needed, nor are inspections. However where I'm originally from (the State of Connecticut), you need insurance, and annual inspections.

[Goose7R]

I can't see a problem with the last paragraph.

(Florida is a popular destination for retired folk)

Yes, we've seen Golden Girls.

Ahem, ***cough*** ***cough***, that's Cali... *cough* *cough* ...fornia...

[Goose7R]

Have you got a helmet law in Florida, as in there not required??

No helmet law in Florida. That's one of those things that's State specific. Some States yes, some no. If I'm not mistaken, Florida just modified their helmet law, such that anyone under 21 years of age has to wear one. ...and so we know who's 21 and who isn't, anyone under 21, gets this nice, BIG, white license plate with red letters that says: "UNDER 21"

With US/AU dollar very close on the exchange rate the price comparo is almost 1:1 now.

Yeah, I noticed that, I was pretty surprised to tell you the truth...

Motorcyclists are always a target for law enforcement in one way or another-minority ruin it for the majority as usual.

Yup, same here. Florida just passed a law saying if your on you're bike and get caught doing 50mph over the speed limit, the fine is insane, and on the third time, they can just take your bike and throw your arse in jail.

[Goose7R]

....and chicks are nicer

How could I forget Kylie!!!!

[Goose7R]

The reason it is " a big country with no people " is because the local wildlife keeps the population in check! All of it is deadly.
Crocodiles, Spiders, Koalas, Snakes, Emu, Jelly fish, Wallabies, Octopus, Sharks, Wombats etc etc.
It is bloody frightening down here after dark!

...and to think, all I was afraid of was angry biker hordes wanting to kill me for my petrol!!!

[Benno]

Just so you're under no illusions.

Miss Universe.



She clearly has Kylie beaten hands down.

And I couldn't forget Megan.

[Goose7R]

First off, thank you for such a post, a thoroughly enjoyable read!!!

See above - you guys get cheaper petrol than the rest of the world, so enjoy it while it lasts. On a dollar-per-dollar basis, over here the signs would read $5.50 per gallon !!! does that hurt ?? Most normal Aussie sedans (V6 4-doors) now cost about $80-$90 to fill up .....makes your $40 look as cheap as buggery.......a lot of Aussies have converted to LPG.

Yeah, NOT ANYMORE! The days of cheap petrol in the U.S. is long gone I'm afraid... We're close to $4/gallon, some analysts predicting $5 real soon too..

LPG????

We have humourless androids who are bred on farms - they become Highway Patrol officers ( well, all except for certain bike-coppers in SA..... ) - the other coppers are all state-based, and there is also a large plastic contingent of federal coppers.....

"humourless androids" You'd love the State Cops in Massachusetts, all they're missing is a swastika!

A-HAH !! we only pay income tax to the Federal govt. No income tax payable to State governments from 'personal' income. There is a national GST of 10% on all goods and services ( a bit like VAT in the UK).

Just think, the fine folks who live in New York City, pay: Federal, State, AND local!

jesus christ !! 200k ?? is that all - over here mate, the average price of a McMansion in Sydney is over half a fucking million dollars !! Yes , 1/2 a mill.......In ACT (Canberra) , average homes cost over $400k, not much different in Melbourne or Brisbane, Perth used to be cheap, but not any more.......in Adelaide you get a house given to you for free if you stay 10 days or more without dying of boredom.....

That's just because this is Florida. Florida is a relatively cheap place to own a home, up in the New England States, it's up around 350K, and in parts of California, it's like 750K!!

Heck, I gotta check out Adelaide!!!

Cool, no difference there at all. People must drive like crap the world over. But the roads here are not wide and flat, they are narrow, bumpy and shitful.......does not stop people speeding.....(some expressways are good, but *nothing* like what you guys have over there. I think the widest road in Oz is only 4 lanes wide ???)

Wow. Now that's an interesting one... Yeah, in some of our bigger cities, you've got 6-8 lanes on each side of the road. Not only do people drive like crap all over the world, I wanted to add in, no country has a monopoly on stupidity either!!

Mad Max is fine - we all live like that, out in the wastelands, feeding out of cans of 'Dinky Di' dogfood, and fighting hordes of skanky bikers looking for a tanker full of guzzoline !!

I can't tell you how many times I've watched the Mad Max movies... I own all three, and one of my best friends even bought me a Great Humungous action figure...



Quite possibly, my favorite Mad Max character... Aside from Goose, of course...

Hope this helps you understand Oz a bit better. Its the best country in the world by a huge margin. Except for Carlton and Essendon supporters - they can kiss my shiny arse !!

It sure does... It sure does...

[Goose7R]

Australia is shit. You really don't want to visit. Make sure you tell all your seppo mates that too, that its a terrible place, and you should stay away.

Now you tell me... Sorry, but we've had that group ride planned for about a year now. We really can't wait to pull wheelies on that long bridge from Los Angles to Sydney. Hope there are enough rest stops along the way... No turning back now!