Kawasaki Sportsbike Riders Club - Australia - Online Forum

hey guys,
i have not met alot of you, those of you i have are great people and will go to extreme lengths to help out.

please dont see this as a cry out for attention, more to do with me being young and confused and needing some guidance from some older more experienced and mature fellow bike riders . (maby not that mature )

i have just got out of a long relationship (4.5yrs) to whom i had a pretty set future (no money invested, thank fizzle sticks)

im just lost with what to do with myself, i like to see myself as having a strong backbone, but this has really rocked me.

much appreciated

Move on with your life!

Get out, enjoy the freedom and dont push for a new/old relationship. That will come in good time.

Go do the things you want to do but never could in a relationship. Make new friends and hit the road on the bike. (Those two things alone will go hand in hand)

Really, make life what you want and dont let the past dictate your future!

Good luck mate, there is plenty to be had in the big wide world

Whickle wrote: Really, make life what you want and dont let the past dictate your future!

that has hit the nail on the head mate.

cheers

hey timmy my relationship wasnt that long ( a tad under two years) but i know what you're going through... its a bit weird... try very hard not to replace them with someone... you will miss the day to day contact with someone... but whickle is right... have fun with friends, keep yourself busy (i was out 4-5 nights a week after i became single - just to keep myself pre-occupied) and just take some time to do exactly what you want... oh and definitely go riding

more time to ride mate

cheers guys for the help. and pinchy your exactly right about the day to day contact man.
the comfort factor of having the companion, and then all of a sudden its gone and now you have so much time is amazing.

more time to ride

If it's all totally over and that's it, thet my main bit of wisdom is that there's ALWAYS someone else. Also, trust that whatever has happened is all for the best, how you view it all will probably change with time.

Until there is someone else, enjoy your time to do things that you really want to because for all you know you'll be married with your second on the way in a few years, and you won't have the time to go to band rehearsals and record and race and do every ARDC track day

Look after yourself, enjoy yourself, and don't waste your time! ....idle hands and all........

yer tim for the past 6 months its been shaky and i have tried changing some things, hence why i have been at the track and such so little, but it wasnt helping so i gave it the flick.
so in my mind its totally over and no chance of getting back together.
thanks for the advice bud

+1 to what they said..

And find something new and different to do, that you always thought would be interesting but never got around to it.

And give yourself time to get over the relationship, don't rush into another one just because you're used to having someone around.

Tim make the most of your time as Tim said, I was married for 9 years then single for 2 years....... my only regret, the single part did not last long enough , be selfish, go riding every weekend, treat yourself like you never have before, do everything that you have been held back from & most importantly enjoy the

Life has presented you with an opportunity, don't waste it. You tried compromising it didn't work so now make the most of the extra time you have been given and see what happens.

I had a split from my wife for a couple of months some years ago. I made the conscious decision not do anything other than do what I felt like on the day. No real plans just go with the flow, if there was something I heard of that I thought that sounds like fun I did it. I didn't want to making plans/ decisions when my head wasn't screwed on right (if you know what I mean).

Good luck with the future.

Nick

Hey Timmy...
give thanks that it was relatively short... Richo and I were both in previous relationships that
dragged on for 8 years each... sometimes you just get used to crappy relationships... cos you
don't know any better... give yourself some time to breathe... breathe in the new fresh air...

In time when you find the one that's right for you... you'll be able to appreciate the difference...

P.S : unless there are kids involved, you guys should be able to do whatever you dream with your
partners.. otherwise... what the hell ??? I understand that children change the dynamics and the
finances of a relationship... but prior to having children, you should respect each other enough
to allow each other the room to grow and experience new things...with or without each other.
Just cos you don't understand why your partner wants something doesn't mean you can't support it...

But that's my 2 cents worth... just from experience...


Have Fun !!! That's what life is all about !!!
Good Luck Timmy...

Andy

Get out and ride and spend plenty of time with friends enjoying life. See you at the track Sunday then?

Sorry to hear that Tim - but good that you're being true to yourself and getting out when it wasn't good for you. Many people stay way too long and waste years more of their lives. You're a smart cookie, mate.

As to what to do...
Firstly, ride more - you miss riding, and there's a mind-cleaning aspect to long rides!
Secondly - spend a few months being a manslut
Third - don't just hang around, existing, waiting for things to get better. You left for a reason. Things are already better. Now get out and do something you've been wanting to do for a while - take an 8 week interest course through community college - they're surprisingly cheap and you'll be absorbed in something new and interesting, which will distract you until you're used to living alone. Everyone has a list of "One day, I'd like to do...", so why not use this as an opportunity to try one of them?
Fourth - go out with your mates. Just a couple of beers at the pub while talking shit would be good, not a big piss-up.
Fifth - get hugs from your friends (more likely from the female friends, than the male ones!) as you may be missing the sudden stop in skin contact with another human (I'm not talking about sexual stuff - just touch)
Sixth - believe that the last 4.5 years were not a waste. You had some good times. And you learned stuff about yourself and what's important to you.
Seventh - come out to the track on Sunday and pit bitch for us

now is the perfect time to get a race bike and start playing!
They are a great way to soak up excess time and money