Farting Etiquette

[King Nicholas]

Greetings Citizens.

I had a pillion the other day and I had to pass wind.
I thought to myself, "Will they hear, smell or feel it?"
Because it would not be very regal, I decided to hold on until we dismounted.
So I have to ask, "Have you ever farted with a pillion and have any of your pillions ever noticed?"

[DMonkey]

Mate I would have let it rip!
HAHAHA

[seiko1]

Female pillion.......no way
Male pillion..........definately twice even

[IsleofNinja]

If the pillion can feel or smell your farts then you are obviously riding FAR too responsibly for your own good

[Bogan]

Ask Gos, the Doyen of Flatulence, he'll be able to tell you how many times you should, whether it's safer to turn and offer your finger to be pulled on lefts or rights and whether it's best to lift a cheek or smother it so that it makes its way inside the enclosed space that is your pillion's full face helmet.

[rooster]

Mate I would have let it rip!
HAHAHA

It is more dangerous to withold expelling gas under pressure than releasing when nature intended, and if they are dumb enough to sit behind someone with flatulence problem then it's their fault

[corvus2606]

my nan used to have a saying

"you're better off to fart a little than to bust you're ass and be a cripple"

'nuff said

[DaBigfella]

I know if i leave my helmet in a vulnerable position at work it cops it, and then so do i when i put it on.....

[smithy5]

my nan used to have a saying

"you're better off to fart a little than to bust you're ass and be a cripple"

'nuff said

Mine used to say..... "Your better off with an empty house, than a bad tenant"

[Bogan]

What doesn't pay rent must be evicted...

[mike-s]

Wait until you've got a decent sweeper then plonk your arse off a little and they'll never suspect a thing.

[MadKaw]

The next shirt

KSRC - We tackle the important subjects that others are afraid too.!

[mike-s]

*bookmarks thread*

[Smitty]

Greetings Citizens.

I had a pillion the other day and I had to pass wind.
I thought to myself, "Will they hear, smell or feel it?"
Because it would not be very regal, I decided to hold on until we dismounted.
So I have to ask, "Have you ever farted with a pillion and have any of your pillions ever noticed?"

the rule is.....keep it to yourself

[Gosling1]

.......Ask Gos, the Doyen of Flatulence, he'll be able to tell you how many times you should, whether it's safer to turn and offer your finger to be pulled on lefts or rights and whether it's best to lift a cheek or smother it so that it makes its way inside the enclosed space that is your pillion's full face helmet.

..........

There are a number of important issues that need to be kept in mind when farting with a pillion......gender is of no concern to me in these situations....

#1 - If you are dropping a wet one ( a personal favourite of mine) - just be careful that it doesn't bubble up and inside your *own* jacket. This is dangerous, as the pressure drop behind your helmet will actually suck the stench in, and you will know all about it ! Try and force a wet one out with some reasonable pressure - this should ensure that your gift to the pillion actually leaves your pants, sits in their lap for a nano-second or 2, before it rises and assaults their nostrils. Good work !

#2 - If you are letting rip with a real coit-buster, then you need to take care that you don't blow the pillion clear off the back of the bike. Best bet with these babies is to lift your non-dominant leg so that your non-dominant arse-cheek clears the seat, and try and aim *down* a bit. You will give the pillion some fore-warning of your intentions, but as these type of fart tend to be all noise and little stench, it's no problem !

#3. The ultimate in pillion-killers - the SBD !! Yes, silent but *deadly*. These ones generally require little movement of your arse, as they just tend to fall out with little or no warning. If you drop one of these, you may have to deal with a pillion who tries to bail out at 100kmh. Not good.

That covers the 3 basic fart-groups. Happy to provide some one-on-one training if required, just dial 1-800-Who-Cut-The-Cheese.