2. Man lying in bed after sex with his new Thai wife. She keeps stroking his cock.
He says: do you like my cock that much? She says: "no I just miss mine
2. A parrot swallows a viagra tablet. His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer 2 cool off. Later when he opens the freezer he finds the parrot sweating. "How come ur sweating?" He asks.
The parrot replies "Do u know how f**in hard it is 2 open the legs of a frozen chicken"!
3. Man comes home & catches his mate shagging his wife so he stabs him to death. His missus said , 'fucking carry on like that pal and u wont have any mates left.
4. I applied for a job at a mental hospital and they said i need at least 24 hours experience with a retard... So i was wondering 'you wanna hang out tomorrow?'
5. Just a reminder that tomorrow is "Hug a Retard" day. So don't freak out like you did last year, nobody is trying to hurt you!
If ya can't beat em.....join em 
