I got up yesterday morning and I really felt as though the grey cloud had lifted a bit! I won;t make that mistake again, as I reckon it will just lead to dissapointment again! So, from now on I am looking at this in the most cynical and pessimistic way!! I know I shouldn't be negative, but I can't handle any more knocks. So if I look at worst case scenario every time and it doesn't turn to shit, then that will cheer me somewhat! Whereas, if I look on the bright side, I get down when things keep piling on top of me. So, I expect a whole lot more shit to come down on me from here on, that way if it doesn't, it's a win!!!!!
I just went to the doctor. He has diagnosed me with a bulging disc. He reckons I am a mm away from it prolapsing!!!

He has given me 50mg Tramadol to ease the pain. I took one an hour ago and I am now in Noddy land!!!!!!

If nothing else, at least I can work now, rather than lying flat on my back!!!
I was never one to share my feelings with anyone other than my life partner, so putting this in here has been a new and rather intrepid experience for me. However, I think if I hadn't had this outlet and the flood of support shown from all of you, I may not have got through this and although I know I am not out of the woods yet, you guys really have kept me hanging in there! Thankyou!
I got kicked to the curb by my father when I was 15 and had to move to the city find a job and put myself through school. As such I consider myself to be a strong person who is no stranger to hardship or lifes trials. However, to be brutally honest, I wasn't coping at all well with it. I even considered (all be it briefly) just necking some pills and having a long long long lay down at one point.

I was at my lowest! I have never been that low ever before in my life. You all need to take credit for the support you have all shown me as without it, I doubt I could have made it through that period and certainly wouldn't be feeling as relatively good as I do today!!
For anyone else who has or is going through some hard times, I would encourage you to vent in here, as getting it off my chest and the responses recieved has been my rock and it could be for you also! I have come to realise who in here are truly my friends and I thank each and every one of those who have offered even the smallest support and ecouragement to me. I don;t have words strong express my gratitude to all of you!Once again I am truly humbled!
I have two more days work here in Melbourne this week and after that, I am going to pack everything I can carry into the Jeep, load the trailer with my Rex and go and stay with my folks for a little while until I can afford to get myself back on my feet. All my details, email and phone will remain the same if anyone want to ctc me.
Once again, to all of you a big
[flash=]THANKYOU!!!![/flash]
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me" Hunter S. Thompson.
There are really only two questions in life. 1.Which way do i go? 2.What is the lap record?