Dr Susse for oldies

The cat in the hat's poem for the oldies

I cannot see
I cannot pee
I cannot chew
Oh my God, what can I do?
My memory shrinks
My hearing stinks
No sense of smell
I look like hell
My mood is bad - can you tell?
My body's drooping
I have trouble pooping
The Golden Years have come at last
The Golden Years can..........

KISS MY ASS!!!!



Just in case you weren't feeling "too" old today, this will certainly change things.

The people who started university this year across the nation were born in 1987.

Star Wars is older than them.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

They have always had an answering machine

They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

They have always had CD's, never records.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even was.

McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Do you feel old yet? (Sorry) Pass this on to the other old fogies you know


Notice the larger type, that's for those of you who have trouble reading.

[edit]:typo in the original i just noticed[/edit]

Last edited by mike-s on Tue May 29, 2007 9:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

hahahah nice find....

ahh memories...i think?? maybe i forgot..oh ummm

The people who started university this year across the nation were born in 1987.

I think this bit is out of date- more like 1989. I'm teaching kids to drive who were born in 1990, which makes me feel OLD, because I left school in 1989. I'm old enough to be their father. Eeeeeeeek.

Taking your kids to a sporting event of the kind you participated in as a kid makes you feel old. My kids started racing BMX this year, something I was involved in as a kid.

At a race last Sunday there was talk of bunny hopping over people. My comment was, "I haven't done that in almost 20 years"...

Damn, I'm only 34

oh man, lookin forward to rats, uhh kids of my own then

They have always had CD's, never records.

I had an "8 Track" with the old cartridges before my cassette player

To begin with, our telephone didn't have have a number dial, let alone buttons, it had a crank handle which you wound around in circles which alerted the local exchange operator that you wanted to place a call. It was also the signal for them to listen in for the latest in the lives of the local townfolk!

Our oven was powered by wood as was our hot water service, but we did have power connected. We had Television, but it was only black and white and it was a massive big thing encased in a wood cabinet free standing on it's own legs. To change channel, it had a rotating dial which turned with a healthy clunk. Our water was rain water from a tank, and our dunny was literally a hole in the ground with a tin shed built over it! No button to flush. And let me tell you, it was often better to go down the back of the property and lay a cable on a hot day, rather than go into the thunder box and it's summer stench and flies!

Our first car never had a Heater, but as the years progressed and technology improved we had one with not only a heater but a radio too! An AM radio at that! Later we got push button AM Radio's, then the really trick 8 track tape players of the 70's!

I remember watching man walk on the moon for the first time, supposedly live, on tellie. Black and white still.

I remember the first car we ever had that had an airconditioner! It was bolted to below the glove box in front of the front seat passenger and froze mums knees while we all roasted!

I remember when the choice of fuels was either Standard, Super or diesel!

I remember when getting your licence meant having a chat with the local plod and maybe doing a lap of the block!

I remember when a pack of fags was 49c!

YOU OLD BASTARD!

I remember when a pack of fags was 49c!

so u rooted a few of them huh??


i wish ciggies were still 40c a pack!!

They have always had CD's, never records.

I had an "8 Track" with the old cartridges before my cassette player

I remember them, we had one in my old man's Kingswood - the only music I recall is 'South Pacific' and some other Gilbert & Sullivan rubbish........

Strika, you are sounding more and more like a Ulysses candidate every day

I remember cigarettes like....

Ardath
Peter Stuyvesant
Black & White
Moore
Escorts (first pack I ever bought was about 30c, it was a mini-pack of 15)


I remember collecting real' glass' bottles of Coke, Tarax and Cottee's, and cashing them in for 5c each - on a good day, you could get enough money to shout yourself to the local swimming pool, buy some stuff from the canteen, and have a few games on the pinnies....

Pinnies...........remember them ?? Bloody hell I loved them so much......

My old man threw out the very 'first' computer game known to man, it was called 'Pong', and was the old table-tennis game with a white dot and 2 paddles up and down each side..........we had the 'Deluxe' version in 1975, it had 4 games (table tennis, soccer, squash and hockey)......I am still spewing that he threw it out, it worked perfectly !!!


I remember the very first Countdown episode in colour.....1975. Skyhooks. It was awesome.

Horror movie right there on my teeveeeeeeeee, horror movie right there on the big screeeeen.

seriously, earliest smokes i remember were my nanna's smokes, she had "turf" smokes, all i remember is a red/white packet or some such.