Supafrog wrote:Dear Aunty Cath...
I am currently dying with the dreaded manflu....
is there any special techniques for getting extra sympathy? and how could i milk this sympathy to get a new motorcycle???
..... and how do i get rid of the manflu so i can ride the new motorcycle????
Dear Supafrog,
My poor little pet, the manflu is a terrible, debilitating disease. I have seen my sweetie, "Uncle Cath", suffer from it terribly from time to time. Unfortunately, there is no cure, but there are things that can be done to help you deal with this traumatic event. I presume you are coughing painfully, as well as sniffling quite a bit? But you also need to make sure your breathing sounds laboured. And blow your nose as if you barely have the strength to hold the tissue to your face (use a tissue, my diseased little sparrow, please). Consider dragging your feet pathetically when you need to move from the couch... And if you need to go to the toilet, spend extra time in there, as that will make your carer worry. Try hiding a beer in there, and take your iphone with you - you can easily spend a half hour in there, more if you have the latest Two Wheels in there as well - which will cause a lot of concern. If there is a knock at the door and a worried "are you ok honey?", first give a long pause, then make your voice hoarse and croak "I think so... ". Only spend another minute or two in there, otherwise you'll have to commit to another half hour in there at least - you need to come out now while the worry is there and before your carer is distracted with the laundry or dinner. Oh, and don't forget to shuffle and drag your feet when you leave the bathroom - which shouldn't be difficult if you've been sitting on the loo for a half hour! After 10 minutes or so, ask for a glass of water. But do so as if you're asking for the world's biggest favour and make sure it's difficult to get the words out. She'll be doing whatever she can to make you feel better... you may even get a *handy* out of it, if you can sincerely explain how the stress release will be beneficial and help your recovery.
As far as using manflu to get a new motorbike goes... you can't. You're obviously too sick to be making major financial decisions like that right now. Sorry, manflu is only good for pampering and indulgence. Motorbikes need to come out of the 'Tit for Tat' fund... and I know your eyes just glazed over as you started visualising a piggy bank containing breasts, so I'll stop now
Hope you're feeling better my Amazing Amphibian
Yeah I got fat fingers too 
