just some jokes
Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 7:03 pmThe human body has 7 trillion nerves.
My wife manages to get on every fucking one of them!
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My missus asked me to help her stop sucking her thumb,
so I drew a cock on it!!
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My wife said that she was leaving me because I always exaggerate.
I was so shocked I almost tripped over my cock.
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I was pretty excited when my new girlfriend sent me a text message
claiming that she loves anal.
Dyslexic bitch , it turns out that she love Alan, my best mate......
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A bloke is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and
suddenly yells, "Don't enter that church, you silly prick !!!"
His wife asks him, "What are you watching?"
Husband replies, "Our bloody wedding video"
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Love is like a fart.
If you have to force it, it's probably shit.
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Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend says, "How dare you call me a
skank.
Get out of my bed right now and take your mates with you!"
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Life is like a penis.
Soft and hanging freely.
It's women that make it hard
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I said to the wife, "Get me a newspaper"
"Don't be silly," she said "You can borrow my iPad"
That spider never knew what fucking hit it.
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The wife and I were lying in bed this morning when she said, "I think the
romance in this relationship is dead"
I wish she wouldn't talk to me while I'm having a wank.
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I bought a new perfume for my wife called Chloroform but she says
she doesn't like it.
She says that it makes here sleepy and her bum sore.
My wife manages to get on every fucking one of them!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My missus asked me to help her stop sucking her thumb,
so I drew a cock on it!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife said that she was leaving me because I always exaggerate.
I was so shocked I almost tripped over my cock.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was pretty excited when my new girlfriend sent me a text message
claiming that she loves anal.
Dyslexic bitch , it turns out that she love Alan, my best mate......
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A bloke is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and
suddenly yells, "Don't enter that church, you silly prick !!!"
His wife asks him, "What are you watching?"
Husband replies, "Our bloody wedding video"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love is like a fart.
If you have to force it, it's probably shit.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend says, "How dare you call me a
skank.
Get out of my bed right now and take your mates with you!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Life is like a penis.
Soft and hanging freely.
It's women that make it hard
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I said to the wife, "Get me a newspaper"
"Don't be silly," she said "You can borrow my iPad"
That spider never knew what fucking hit it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The wife and I were lying in bed this morning when she said, "I think the
romance in this relationship is dead"
I wish she wouldn't talk to me while I'm having a wank.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I bought a new perfume for my wife called Chloroform but she says
she doesn't like it.
She says that it makes here sleepy and her bum sore.
