Aussie Humour (non racist)

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Aussie Humour (non racist)

Postby seiko1 » Wed Jan 27, 2010 11:48 am

Emu.jpg
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An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe' with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the emu.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment..

The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says,
'A hamburger, chips and a coke.' The emu says, 'I'll have the same.'
Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man. 'Same,' says the emu.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, mate, how do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'

'Well, love' says the truckie, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man. The waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?'

The truckie sighs, pauses, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall bird with a big arse and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.
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Re: Aussie Humour (non racist)

Postby Supafrog » Thu Jan 28, 2010 9:17 am

Why doesn't he just eat the emu???? Think of how big those drumsticks would be!
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Re: Aussie Humour (non racist)

Postby MadKaw » Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:02 am

The Pope and Kevin Rudd were on the stage in front of a huge crowd at the AFL Grand Final.

The Pope leaned towards Mr. Rudd and said, "Do you know that with one little
movement of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy?
This joy will not be a momentary display, like those believers in a football
match, but will permeate deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day
and rejoice!"

Ruddy replied, "I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand?
Show me"....










So the Pope backhanded him!
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Re: Aussie Humour (non racist)

Postby laidback » Fri Jan 29, 2010 3:12 pm

Great Aussie Tradition...

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Re: Aussie Humour (non racist)

Postby seiko1 » Fri Jan 29, 2010 10:07 pm

Love it :kuda:
Policy - Find something simple.....and Complicate it!
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Re: Aussie Humour (non racist)

Postby Mikey84 » Thu Apr 08, 2010 5:06 pm

hahahahaha new_rofl.gif :kuda:
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