Decoding Personal Ads

[Gosling1]

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish..............................................................49.
Adventurous.....................................................Slept with everyone.
Athletic................................ ..........................No breasts.
Average looking................................................Moooo.
Beautiful..........................................................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure..............................................On medication.
Feminist..........................................................Fat.
Free Spirit.......................................................Junkie.
Friendship first.! ....... .........................................Former Slut.
New-Age.........................................................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned..................................................No B.J.'s
Open-minded...................................................Desperate
Outgoing.........................................................Loud and embarrassing.
Professional....................................................Bitch.
Voluptuous..................................................... Fat.
Wants soul mate.............................................Stalker.


DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
Yes....................................................... ..........No
No....................................................................Yes
Maybe..............................................................No
We need...........................................................I want
I am sorry.........................................................You'll be sorry
We need to talk................................................You're in trouble
Sure, go ahead.................................................You better not
Do what you want........................! ....... ..............You will pay for this later
I am not upset..................................................Of course, I am upset, you moron!
You're attentive tonight......................................Is sex all you ever think about?


DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
I am hungry.......................................................I am hungry
I am sleepy.......................................................I am sleepy
I am tired..........................................................I am tired
Nice dress........................................................Nice cleavage!
I love you..........................................................Let's have sex now
I am bored........................................................Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance?........................! ....... .......I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime?...................................I'd like to have sex with you.
Do you want to go to a movie?............................I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner?..............................I'd like to have sex with you.
I don't think those shoes go with that outfit...........I'm gay

[mike-s]

hehehehehe

[Lone Wolf]

Very accurate