BM's Joke/ funny video thread..... probably NWS

[seiko1]

Jewish boy asks his Father
Poppa can I borrow 50 Dollars.
Father replies
40 dollars
what do you want to borrow
30 dollars for?

[seiko1]

Paddy and his Aussie mate get a job putting in power poles
At the end of the first day the supervisor comes up to Paddy and say's,
your fired you stupid Irishman,
Poor old Paddy say's, what for?
Super say's, you only did two poles all day and the Aussie has done 25.
Poor old paddy say's, Yeah but look how far his are stickin out of the ground

[laidback]

A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away.

She said, 'But we don't know anything about each other.'

He said, 'That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along.'

So she agreed, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a resort.

One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 metre board and did a two and a half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife.

After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.

She said, 'That was incredible!'

He said, 'I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about each other as we went along.'

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps.

After seventy-five laps she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her towel and was hardly out of breath.

He said, 'That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?'

'No,' she said, 'I was a prostitute in Mildura,but I worked both sides of the Murray' !!!

[laidback]

An old man goes into a chemist to buy some viagra.

Old man: "Can I have 6 tablets, cut into quarters"

Pharmacist: "I can cut them for you but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection".

Old Man: "I'm 96, I don't want an erection, I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't piss on my slippers"