The Centrelink Office. (Politically correct)

A long haired (insert own race) walked into the local Centrelink office to pick up his dole cheque.
He marched straight up to the counter and said, ‘Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing the dole. I'd really rather have a job.'

The Centrelink girl behind the counter said, ' your timing is excellent, Sir..'
'We have just received a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2009 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.

Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive.
A two-bedroom loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo, bar, etc.
Located above the garage will be designated for your sole use and the salary is $200,000 a year. '

The (insert own race) plain wide-eyed, said, ' you’re bullshitin’ me!

The Centrelink worker replied, ' Yeah, well. . You fucken started it.'

and my standard, none softcock version.........

A long haired Aboriginal walked into the local Centrelink office to pick up his dole cheque.
He marched straight up to the counter and said, ‘Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing the dole. I'd really rather have a job.'

The Centrelink girl behind the counter said, ' your timing is excellent, Sir..'
'We have just received a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2009 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.

Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive.
A two-bedroom loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo, bar, etc.
Located above the garage will be designated for your sole use and the salary is $200,000 a year. '

The Aboriginal plain wide-eyed, said, ' you’re bullshitin’ me!

The Centrelink worker replied, ' Yeah, well. . You fucken started it.'

I like the first one better I can include neighbours, mother in law, Harley riders etc