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THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD‏ "NWS"

Fri Sep 17, 2010 5:05 pm

THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD

HOPE THIS MAKES YOU SMILE

THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD...Well, it's shit... That's right, shit!

Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, And tell others to eat shit.

Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shinola.

There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits.

There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.

You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, And some days are just plain shitty..

Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.

You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.

Sometimes your breath smells like shit

Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit

and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.

And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!

You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do, so if you don't give a shit!

Well, Shit, it's time for me to go.

Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day without a bunch of shit..

But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head...........

Well, Shit Happens!!!

HOPE YOUR SHITTY DAYS ARE FEW AND FAR BETWEEN

Oh, and somedays you can't shit!

Re: THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD‏ "NWS"

Mon Sep 20, 2010 6:17 pm

to true mate.......... and some ppl think there SHIT just dont stink lol............ sad fact stinks just like EVERYONE else lol....... :D ;)

Re: THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD‏ "NWS"

Tue Sep 21, 2010 8:37 am

swearbear9r wrote:to true mate.......... and some ppl think there SHIT just dont stink lol............ sad fact stinks just like EVERYONE else lol....... :D ;)


very well said matty :D

Re: THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD‏ "NWS"

Tue Sep 21, 2010 9:37 am

How about " goes faster than shit off a shiney shovel".
:kuda:

Re: THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD‏ "NWS"

Tue Sep 21, 2010 11:39 am

Jack is the only son of O. Schitt and Awe Schitt. O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Awe Schitt, the owner of Knee-deep N.Schitt, Inc.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt and the twins, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents objections, Deep Schitt married Dump Schitt, a high school drop-out. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Mr. Scherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married Loada Schitt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspapers announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. They created a bumper sticker and made millions. You've probably seen it...

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new bride Pisa Schitt.

So now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them and inform them of your more than deep knowledge of the family tree.

:P

Re: THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD‏ "NWS"

Tue Sep 21, 2010 2:41 pm

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