One for Aardy

Some Handy one liners

Police Comments (USA)

These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder that the one you just went through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document!"

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't...Sign here."

i dont get number 1??

why "sign here" ??

maybe its sarcasm...

i dont get number 1??

why "sign here" ??

maybe its sarcasm...

The copper is saying that she isn't a pretty woman, so go ahead and sign.

When people ask:
"Can you give me a caution?"

My usual response is:
"Sure. Don't stand up in a canoe."

Probably explains all the complaints I get.

i dont get number 1??

why "sign here" ??

maybe its sarcasm...

The copper is saying that she isn't a pretty woman, so go ahead and sign.

When people ask:
"Can you give me a caution?"

My usual response is:
"Sure. Don't stand up in a canoe."

Probably explains all the complaints I get.

do they have to sign the fine over there??


hahah love the caution... smart ass....

if they ask "can u give me a warning"?? do u flail ur arms around going "warning warning danger will robinson" and giggle??

i dont get number 1??

why "sign here" ??

maybe its sarcasm...

The copper is saying that she isn't a pretty woman, so go ahead and sign.

When people ask:
"Can you give me a caution?"

My usual response is:
"Sure. Don't stand up in a canoe."

Probably explains all the complaints I get.

do they have to sign the fine over there??


hahah love the caution... smart ass....

if they ask "can u give me a warning"?? do u flail ur arms around going "warning warning danger will robinson" and giggle??

BWHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

<chortle> <spit>

If he does that, i want pics and vid

DANGER DANGER MY ARMS ARE FLAILING WILDLY!!