Laidback's funnies...mostly stolen

Plane crash... This has a common theme so probably changed from Pom land or the good ol' US...

A large jet plane crashed on a farm in the middle of rural Australia. Panic
stricken, the local police inspector mobilized and descended on the farm in
force. By the time they got there, the aircraft was totally destroyed with only a
burned hull left smoldering in a tree line that bordered the farm.


The inspector and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains
of anyone. They spotted the farmer plowing a field not too far away as if
nothing had happened. They hurried over to the man's tractor.


"John " the inspector yelled, panting and out of breath. "Did you see this
terrible accident happen?" "Yep. Sure did," the farmer mumbled unconcerned,
cutting off the tractor's engine.


"Do you realize that is the Prime Ministers RAAF 737, the aeroplane of the
Prime Minister of Australia"?
"Yep."
"Were there any survivors?"
"Nope. They's all got killed straight out," the farmer answered. "I did
all the burying myself. Took me most of the morning."


"Gillard is dead?" the inspector asked.


"Well," the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor.
"She kept saying she wasn't... But, you know what a lying bitch she is .............

A truefull joke

This week we celebrate a special birthday.

Monica Lewinsky turns 50.
Can you believe it ?

It seems like only yesterday,
She was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees,
Putting everything in her mouth.................

They grow up so fast, don't they?

Met Bill in Port Douglas....
he said it was all a big mistake....
what he'd actually said to Monica was "sack my cook"!