Politically incorrect jokes (But VERY, VERY funny!)

Q-What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend.
A-Wiped his arse
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Q-Whats the difference between a battery and marriage.
A-The battery has a positive side.
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Q-What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying.
A-The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving
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A Somalian arrives in Sydney as a new immigrant to Australia
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says,
'Thank you Mr Australian, for letting me in this country!'
But the passer-by says 'You are mistaken, I am a Pakistani.'
The man goes on and encounters another passer-by:
'Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in Australia!'
The person says 'I no Aussie. I flom Hong Kong.'
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says:
'Thank you for the wonderful Australia!'
That person puts up his hand and says 'I am from Iran, I am not Australian!'
He finally sees a nice lady and asks suspiciously,
'Are you Australian citizen?'
She says, 'No, I am from Rumania.'
So he is puzzled, and asks her: 'Where are all the Australians?'
The Rumanian lady looks at her watch, shrugs, and says...
'Probably at work.'

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It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Chief in a modern society he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. But being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"
"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.
So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?" "Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."
The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later the Chief called the National Weather Service again.
"Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"
"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever."
"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy."

hahahahah

love the aussie one....lol