Husbands, wives girlfriends etc

Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband: "Nothing."
Wife: "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband: "I was looking for the expiration date."

Wife: "Do you want dinner?"
Husband: "Sure! What are my choices?"
Wife: "Yes and no."

Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"
Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?"

Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."

Son: "Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."
Son: "But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap."

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!!"

Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."



AND NOW THE BEST ONE!


A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor."

hahaha thats too funny!!

It would be interesting to see what happened if you said the last one. And by interesting, i mean messy.

It would be interesting to see what happened if you said the last one. And by interesting, i mean messy.

probably as interesting and as 'messy' as a Rodeo Root.... had one of those ??? Its when you are shunting the missus from behind, tell her she feels 'just' like her sister, and then ya HANG ON TIGHT mate !!!!!

LOL

It would be interesting to see what happened if you said the last one. And by interesting, i mean messy.

probably as interesting and as 'messy' as a Rodeo Root.... had one of those ??? Its when you are shunting the missus from behind, tell her she feels 'just' like her sister, and then ya HANG ON TIGHT mate !!!!!

Jerry Springer country